In my mid-20s, I made a choice that may have puzzled my Finnish grandparents: I departed Canada for Finland. Their journey was the reverse. Seventy years ago, both of them left post-war Finland by boat for better economic prospects in Canada. They met in Montreal, where they established a new life and raised a family of nine children.
Growing up in Montreal, I often heard tales about Finland from my grandmother, relayed by my mother or aunts when she switched to Finnish midway through. Finland seemed like a far-off, almost mystical land. In 2017, my sister Liisa and I embarked on our “heritage tour” to Finland, coinciding with the country’s 100th year of independence and the Juhannus celebration, a significant Finnish midsummer holiday.
During our visit, we met relatives for the first time, explored our grandmother’s hometown, and connected her narratives to actual locations: the farm of her upbringing, the nearby lake, and the path she took to school. Although our grandparents had passed away, we could envision their joy at our journey to their homeland and experiencing the magic of midsummer.
A year later, feeling a need for change while residing in Toronto, I decided to move to Finland to immerse myself in a new culture and explore my heritage. Securing a job and a residence permit, I committed to staying for a minimum of one year. Seven years later, at 33, I am still here, and my concept of home has evolved significantly.
Initially, Montreal was my definitive home, where I anticipated returning eventually to resume my “real life.” In the initial months after relocating, doubts plagued me, questioning the path I had chosen. However, over time, Helsinki started feeling like home as well. Witnessing the evolution of the city and its inhabitants, from friends transitioning through life milestones to the opening and closing of establishments, I found my place in Helsinki.
Both cities resonate with me differently. Montreal’s Notre-Dame-de-Grâce neighborhood feels like a familiar, comforting garment, while Helsinki presented a new, confidence-boosting attire to explore. The anonymity in Helsinki provided a sense of freedom, enabling me to embrace new experiences and discover more about myself.
Reflecting on my immigration experience, having grown up in the diverse city of Montreal, I now appreciate the challenges of integration as an immigrant. Acknowledging my privilege as a white woman of Finnish descent, I realize that my assimilation challenges are milder compared to those facing newcomers encountering racism and greater barriers to acceptance.
Living in Helsinki for nearly a decade has reshaped my notion of home and belonging. While Montreal will always hold a special place as my birth city with family and friends, Helsinki has become a significant part of my identity. The journey of moving to Finland has instilled in me a profound respect for my grandparents’ struggles and a heightened empathy for individuals establishing themselves in a new environment.
My quest to explore my roots in Finland led to the cultivation of new connections and a sense of hybrid identity, not fully belonging to either place but finding solace in both. Balancing these two worlds continues to be a learning process, embracing the richness of calling two distinct locations “home.”
